Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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