Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
