At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize