He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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