dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
