I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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