Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
