My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
