Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize