Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
