I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
