I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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