You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
