Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have fence marks all over my body
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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