who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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