The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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