Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize