he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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