Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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