Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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