And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
