on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
