Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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