i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
