i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
