He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
