I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
