how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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