We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
