he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
