I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
