does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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