I don't think brook has ever known best
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
