I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
