you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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