I should be sponsored by Trojan
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
