so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
