Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
