You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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