They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
