I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
