oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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