Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
