You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
