I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
