i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize