Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
