Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
