Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
