Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
