i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
