so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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