dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
