From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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