Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
