Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
