I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
