had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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