she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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