the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
