im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
