He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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