Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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